Castiel's Song
by MauMauKa
Summary: Castiel misses Heaven.


**Castiel's Song**

Sam was up earlier than Dean. That was unusual. Despite Dean's dietary habits and his favorite form of socialization, he was the early riser in the family; Sam was the one who stayed semiconscious until at least ten o'clock. But today he had jerked awake at before dawn with his mouth dry and just one thing on his mind: liquid refreshment.

The shabby motel room they shared with Cass was like a thousand other rooms the Winchester brothers had shared during their travels, boasting magic fingers, pay per view, a persistent musty smell, and low hourly rates. Dean snored in one of the rumpled beds but Cass was gone. Instantly alert, Sam tiptoed to the door of the room and looked out through the peephole. He let out a deep breath when he saw Cass' familiar, rumpled form standing outside.

Quietly, to avoid waking his brother, Sam slipped out of the door. "Morning, Cass", he said quietly.

Cass didn't answer, but Sam didn't take it personally. Since he had lived most of his life as a discarnate angel, Cass didn't exactly have "people skills." Sam proceeded on to the Coke machine at the far end of the hall and dropped some quarters in. His soda clunked into the bottom of the machine, making Sam wince. It seemed awfully loud, even in a motel like this where he could hear a woman shrieking at her boyfriend about cigarettes in one of the rooms.

"Do you want a drink, Cass?" Sam offered. "They might have a water cooler in the lobby. I could get some ice."

Cass didn't reply. Instead, he opened his mouth and sang.

Sam felt his eyes grow wide and the hair stand up on the back of his neck. The singing was soft, barely above a murmur, but the melody was like nothing Sam had ever heard before. It was…Sam cast about in his mind for the right word, but the best he could do was _haunting_, and that wasn't nearly right. The song's beauty was so exquisite that it actually caused Sam pain. His eyes filled and stung and he thanked God that Dean wasn't awake to see him. He had to bite his tongue hard and breathe through his nose to keep the tears from falling. The music went on and on as the sky began to flush pink. Even the traffic noise that was beginning to gear up as people made their way to work didn't mar it. In fact, the honking car horns and swishing tires seemed to fall naturally into the melody itself, along with a few birds and the wind that stirred the trees in back of the motel. It occurred to Sam that he was _hearing_ the dawn, not just seeing it. He sniffed, and his breath hitched in the back of his throat, causing a humiliating hiccupping noise.

"Your brother wept too." Cass said without turning. "You needn't be ashamed."

Sam cleared his throat. "What _was _that?" He sniffled again and wiped his hand quickly across his eyes.

"Heaven's music. To bring the dawn."

"It's…amazing."

"Yes."

Cass bowed his head for a moment, and although their angelic companion wasn't given to emotion, Sam could sense pain and grief coming off him in great pulsing waves.

"You're homesick" Sam said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

Sam shook his head. There was nothing he or Dean could do about that. He would have given Cass a hug, tried to comfort him with words, if Cass had been human. But how do you comfort an angel? Cass' pain was probably beyond any human understanding. Sam settled for gently placing a hand on Cass' shoulder. Cass shuddered. "I'm so sorry" Sam said quietly. "I wish it was different."

"I know."

"Is there anything I can do? I mean, at all?"

"No" Cass turned at last and faced Sam. Tears ran freely down his human face, but his eyes were as steady and unblinking as ever. Somehow, that just made it worse. Sam dropped his hand from Cass' shoulder and gave a deep sigh. Cass smiled faintly. "Thank you, Sam."

"For what?"

"Many of my brethren say that humans are irredeemably selfish, but I do not sense that in you. You have a generous heart, Sam Winchester. So does your brother."

"Um…thanks" Sam felt his face heat up, then he wondered why he was blushing. Cass had said it as a simple statement of fact.

"We must go soon."

"I know" Sam yawned and popped the top on his soda. "I'll go wake Dean. Actually, he's probably up already."

"He is. He is in the shower singing a song about cherry pie."

"Great. That means five minutes of hot water for me and ten of lukewarm."

The sun was fully up now, bathing the ugly motel in its golden light. Cass gave it one last look before following Sam back to the room.


End file.
